this post (not rt) made me think about how it’s an inevitability that as the fake ah crew gains fame (or, well, infamy, let’s be honest), lesser criminals must start pretending to be them in various situations—as an intimidation tactic, for bragging rights, whatever—some punk-ass kid somewhere is curling his hands into fists and shouting that he’s michael fucking jones, that’s right, so you’d better back off.
and geoff is pissed that people are taking credit for their work, and jack thinks it’s hilarious, and ray could literally not give less of a fuck, and gavin complains that it’s ruining his reputation (”what reputation,” ray scoffs, and gavin sulks for a day and a half), and michael makes it a goal to personally punch every single one of them in the face
but ryan?
ryan’s walking home in plainclothes one night and gets shoved into an alley by some guy in a skull mask with a knife out, and the dude barely makes a demand for ryan’s wallet before ryan starts to laugh.
and the dude sounds pretty affronted when he says, “do you know who the hell i am? i’m the vagabond.”
and ryan courteously says, “oh?” and then hands the guy’s ass to him and goes home.
but then he’s thinking. because the thing is, it’s one thing to pretend to be him, but, for god’s sake, if you’re gonna do that, at least know how to do it well. ryan takes a certain amount of pride in his work, alright? he doesn’t want a bunch of half-assed muggings and arson and robberies attached to his name. he has standards.
so he goes out, masked up, and finds the guy from before and drags him into that same alley and throws him roughly against the wall
and then coughs and very politely goes, “you’re holding your knife wrong. also, i don’t mug people? for the record? but if i did, i wouldn’t hold my knife like that. no, here, give me that— see, look, look how easy i took it from you. jesus, stop looking at me like that, i’m not gonna stab you, this is a free lesson, be thankful. do you know anybody else who’s doing this shit? bring me to them.”
and that’s essentially how ryan raises a small, skilled army of mask-wearing doppelgangers.
(he takes a lot of delight in sending them off to wreak havoc with a “go, my minions” sort of voice and it fucking terrifies the rest of the crew.)
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